Scott’s Thoughts: The Can Do? Attitude

“A promise is a debt.”

Proverb, source unknown.

Promises are interesting things. We give them with good intentions and often do so to reduce anxiety in others. To say, “You have my word,” means a lot, provided you’re the kind of person with a track record delivering on those words.

Some of the most powerful promises we make are to ourselves. Every year, around January, people make these promises in the form of New Year resolutions. As we know, roughly six weeks after people make those promises, 80 percent abandon them. What comes after is guilt, if not outright excess in the wrong direction.

We’re often told to “act as if” and that “failure is not an option.” These can be powerful rallying cries when the task at hand calls for grit and determination, but there’s some debate as to whether or not these “do or die” affirmations are really helpful. In fact, they might have just the opposite effect.

To a certain extent, an affirmation is a message to your brain which says, “I don’t care how you do, it, just do it.” The result can be a feeling of bewilderment or futility. “If I haven’t done it yet, what’s to say I can do it now?” The pressure of “must do” blocks the ability to think creatively about a solution.

The next time you face a situation or problem you need to solve, try a different approach. Ask yourself a question. “Can we…?” or “How would we…?” are two ways to begin. Even going so far to say, “Is it even possible…?” is a great way to invite the brain to the explore the feasibility and potential in solutions.

With a question, the brain gets to turning over the problem: “Well, I suppose if we did this…” and “One way around this might be…” opens a discussion, even internally, about what might work. Rather than charge headlong into battle, start by surveying the field. Gradually, you may just help yourself see a way to keep those promises after all.

Photo credit: AdamKR